The folks at BlogHer issued a Valentine’s Day challenge to write a love letter to someone or something — whether you’re happily (or otherwise, I’m sure) coupled or happily (or otherwise) single.
I did get a Valentine this year from someone unexpected. It made my week. It really did. The people I expected would at least wish me a happy day from their safe distance, well, yeah. But for someone out of the blue to think of me and even send a card? Mind. Blown.
In any event, I’ve been meaning to say hello to my Someone — that nebulous being I’ve never met or maybe I have and just don’t know it yet. So, here’s a belated love note to him.
Dearest Someone,
It’s another year closer to our happily — if not ever after, then happily for what I hope will be a good long while. Because we deserve it.
It’s another year in which we are learning and growing and maybe even growing more frustrated that our paths haven’t yet crossed in a significant way, if at all.
I am confident that, even at our age, we’re still enduring some growing pains … and that we aren’t ready to build an eternity on an unsteady foundation of job stresses and other turmoil that we would probably be taking out on each other if the universe had put us together during this critical period of both disappointment and, with it, the enlightenment that follows.
As such, if you find yourself in the “ready to give up” mode that pops into my brain a little more often than I’d like to admit, please don’t. I’m still here, learning about the types of people and characteristics I do and don’t want in my life … and how to be a better person myself.
While I often say I’ll free up my evenings and holidays for when I have someone for whom to free them up, let’s face it. I don’t know how. As such, I (albeit weakly) remind myself that I’m not at a place right now where I CAN’T bring home the stress of the day. And you don’t deserve that.
While I know you’ll be able to make me see the world with clearer, and certainly happier, eyes, I do know you wouldn’t love me right now as much as I know you would otherwise. I look forward to being in a place where I can switch off the world and focus solely on you.
I imagine you face some of the same challenges, and that you also like me fill your rare free time with as many friends and adventures as you can to keep your emotional heart as healthy as you know how.
In the meantime, we will continue finding happiness in ourselves so that we can magnify each other. I don’t believe in having someone complete you — I want someone 100% actualized and I want to BE 100% actualized. If we can’t be content with ourselves, then we will spend a lifetime (or however long we are allotted) seeing only the not-so-attractive things in each other with which we haven’t come to terms in ourselves.
So, my dear Someone. I have a lot of work to do, both for a paycheck and within myself. Next year I expect to be able to finally be able to talk with you in person. And, I hope, much sooner than that.
Until then, I’ll be getting ready for that day. I know you will be too.
Love,
Goddess