For as hard as I work, my lifestyle doesn’t reflect it. Sure, I have a condo at the beach with water all around. Sounds magical, right?
But I also only have two closets (one for mom and one for me), and my closet is so saturated with the smell of mold that I have to keep all my good clothes in the living room.
Plus, she came to me six years ago with all her earthly possessions in cardboard-box form. So my water-surrounded oasis is floor-to-ceiling crap in the mirrored dining-room area.
Yes, mirrors on three walls. It makes me NUTS to see all this shit every day of my life.
The windows are terrible and the hurricane shutters don’t work. The electricity bills are astronomical and it’s always so fucking hot in here. (Except right now when we’re going through a cold front — the winds are worse when you’re up this high and I’m typing in a coat and Uggs and I still can’t get warm.)
Anyway, as I said, lifestyle doesn’t reflect the ZIP code. I have two rattling old-ass cars that I have to trust to carry me a minimum of 60 miles every single day. I shop at Ross if/when I need something to wear or for the house. I live at dollar stores. The only real splurge we have around here is eating. And even then, momma sure knows how to “scare up” a great meal for next to nothing.
So when I do break out of the norm and order something for myself online, I ALWAYS take advantage of the “include gift message” option. I just ordered K-Cups and was balking at the price, as I always do. So just before I hit the order button, I told myself in the message section:
“You work hard and you deserve all the good things coming your way. Take a moment to celebrate yourself today and every day.”
I know I will use every last K-Cup and will enjoy them all. But even though this is a necessity on the level of electricity or AA batteries (*cough*), it’s still hard to part with money when we need so much and I just can’t provide it right now and might be running out of time to do so.
This is me being gentle with myself. But I know when I open that box and wonder what possessed me to spend all that money, I’ll be reminded that I already gave myself permission to enjoy it. So now all that’s left to do is enjoy it.