Every once in a while, I post about where I’ve gone wrong in life. Which, considering that I’ve gone wrong in every aspect, these have been frequent posts.
Here’s another one.
The good friend I mentioned yesterday texted me some golden advice. And it kills me how smart he is and how NOT in power anywhere he is. Meanwhile people who (insert great insult that I’m too much of a lady to type) are seeing all kinds of fortune and favor in life.
Baffling, really.
Anyway, the advice I’ll keep to myself. But it leads me to two key things I consistently do wrong:
1. Looking out too much for others. I had my ass handed to me by a Boob Twin because I saw good hires being treated poorly, and I would do what I could to mentor them if I saw they were worth saving. (Or at least make a good effort to get them engaged before firing or recommending their termination.)
I did this because some really amazing people treated me incredibly and helped me both professionally and personally. People who didn’t need to go “above and beyond” but who did anyway. I felt it was the right thing to do to help people to their next level. It was just ridiculous that it ended up being at my expense.
2. Aligning with the “wrong” people. This is an offshoot of the first one. Boob Twin 1 saw me as being AGAINST her when I was really trying to help HER employees become more productive. Isn’t that better than firing someone, then going through the hiring/training process, and dealing with the terminated employee’s unemployment? I mean, if you saw something special in them, it’s in your best interest to bring it out of them.
Of course, I also admit to picking friends here and there and confiding in them. It keeps me sane. It also bites me square in my pudgy pork roast ass sometimes. Sometimes I use it to build trust, other times I use it as a tool in …
3. Making myself heard. Ergo why I got tossed out of the Veggie Patch after hundreds of vitriolic blogs. I thought they were funny and really, they were a creative outlet for my annoyance.
The blog has toned down in recent years but after a few really good years here and there in my life, the crazies are back full-force and I just want someone, anyone to not only hear them but to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM.
This blog is as public as it gets. But I know my Facebook messages can get a little terse sometimes and I forget that I have friends everywhere who not only read it, but READ INTO it.
That, and I just say what I think in person. All the time. I mean, I do use the filter, believe it or not. And I don’t say anything I wouldn’t repeat, even if sheepishly, if anyone called me out on it.
I don’t know. I guess it goes back to if someone just knew what was bugging me, they’d do something about it. If the people who CAN do something about it, don’t, that’s when I really start to find ways to overshare and often with the wrong audiences.
So, now that I know what’s wrong with me … what keeps me in the same goddamned place in life no matter how much I scrape and claw and move around and try and try and try again … what am I gonna do to fix it?
*looks around for help*
And so, the cycle repeats itself.