I’ve decided I want to be a meeting leader. That would be so much fun and it would be perfect for me.
I’m writing down this aspiration because things only seem to happen when I put them on paper. So, my goal isn’t so much a number as it is a weekend job that I know I would love.
And so I remember what it’s like, I’m going to bore the world to tears with what I struggle with from week to week …
Challenge no. 1: Working out in the boonies, my food choices are limited. I bring a salad and two or three snacks every day. And I stress-eat those snacks by 9:30 a.m. And I starve between lunch and when I depart the ranch around 8 p.m.
So my meeting leader said maybe I should tie those snacks to an activity — a reward for getting through something. So now, I space them out by meetings. My noms don’t last throughout the day, but I’ve gotten them to last throughout the morning.
Verdict: progress! Let’s see if I can save a Fiber One brownie till about 1 p.m. this week.
Challenge no. 2: No time for exercise.
I used to at least have a smoke or two during work hours, to get me up from my desk. And back in the day I’d at least run to our onsite cafe for a salad, but I end up missing lunch if I can’t get up from my desk before 1:30 when they close. (And the nearest sign of civilization is 15 miles away — if I can’t spare the length of a smoke break to go get a salad, how the hell am I going to pack a canteen and venture off the reservation?)
Also, summer in Florida is our winter. The only running I do is from air-conditioned office to air-conditioned car. While everyone up north is venturing outside, we are hunkering down against the elements.
Coming home late doesn’t help. Plus I have things I must do when I get home that don’t involve enjoying my life.
Weekends are errands and mom’s mobility is becoming more-limited, so our together time is mostly spent on the couch watching TV together. But she’s been a champ about cooking healthier and even cutting her own sugar intake to support me.
I am surprised and thrilled by her help. The first time I did the diet thing, she was the ultimate food pusher. And while she did give me a guilt trip that baking is the only thing she loves and now she can’t do that (I told her to give it away — I have an office full of captives), now she’s just the occasional booze pusher. And we all KNOW I can’t say no to that!
Verdict: booze! Er, I mean, something to work on.
Challenge no. 3: Veggies aren’t free.
The first time I dieted, every veggie was a point or two or three, in food-currency terms. Now they are free. Eat them to your heart’s content, the manuals say.
As I learned from a Skinny Minnie who sat next to me at the meeting this week, that’s not true and they need to be portioned out just like anything.
Ugh. Portion control is my ultimate foe.
I eat froots and veggies like they are going out of style. I eat till I’m full and I admit I don’t listen to my body when it says it’s full. Is it really, really full … or full for now and I’m gonna be hungry later so why not just stuff myself silly now? Bad Goddess. Bad.
Anyway, she said all she did was freebase veggies and she ended up gaining weight. So, I thank her for that tip — veggie intake should be as regulated as morphine dosages.
Verdict: everything is bad for you. But I’d rather OD on carrots than heroin. So, one challenge at a time.