Caterwauling

Went to a zombie pub crawl with an old friend tonight. After the misery-fest that was today, I looked the part. Alas, we had fun catching up and it was nice to forget everything that made me twitch today.

The twitching, however, has resumed. My nice buzz from Due South caramel ale ran away when I saw two of one of my boys’ female friends actively using my name on his FB page.

We have plans next Sunday. (The boy and I … Or, we DID.) And apparently he mentioned said plans to them, and they invited themselves and their dogs along. Last I saw, he said he’s calling the restaurant about the dog policy.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh ….

The place I picked is too special to want to risk a bad time.

Wonder when he will let me in on the changed plans?

Funny about The Thing I wasted time working on. While everyone was at lunch, someone else called and said, “Do you have any fresh content on X topic that I can use?”

Well as a matter of fact, I DID. Hah!

I think I just scored a victory today. Don’t tell anyone, though, or else they might find something else to make me nuts …

Just wasted an hour working on something I didn’t need to work on. Well, I did need to work on it but it’s not being used.

But the cycle doesn’t stop there. Now I get to miss a lunch out so I can work on other things I wasn’t working on in the first place that I SHOULD have been working on instead.

More to say, but I’ll just be happy if I make it to my evening plans within an hour or two of them starting.

It’s my niece’s 10th birthday. Even though her mom is not my biological sister, she sure is my soul one.

I haven’t seen them in years, like, since she was a baby. But every year on this day, I text her mom because they’re both on my mind.

Today the little one took the phone and was texting with me. She is so sweet and well-spoken. She sent me a photo and told me all about her 10th birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. We parted with a “Love you, Aunt (Goddess)!” and my heart melted.

I type all of this to say that I missed out on so many life events this year … a dear friend’s wedding (I didn’t even RSVP because the very act of telling her, “Oh hey, remember how I had to miss out on everything because of work throughout the years? IT CONTINUES” gave me anxiety) … a baby shower, a trip to Europe … and so much more.

But it wasn’t just this year. It’s every year. Mostly it’s because of money because I don’t want to travel and then be chained to the VPN all day. (Seriously, workdays shouldn’t COST MONEY.)

And talking with my favorite little girl (who is now a gorgeous YOUNG LADY), my heart is both light and heavy at the same time. I missed out on so much … not just of her life, but my own.

Work has slowed down this week. And I find that I miss being psychotically busy. And I know it’s only a very short matter of time before the new projects start kicking my ass even harder than the old ones.

I love working. I love what I do. I love creating and being a source of awesome things. But is it time to bento-box that love into eight-hour compartments and go fill up the other hours with stuff that will keep my heart as healthy as my mind?