“I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Done my hair up real big beauty queen style
High heels off, I’m feeling alive.”— Lana Del Rey, “Summertime Sadnesss”
There’s an extraordinary remix of this song that was on my iPod all night. I feel like it’s my “functional” song.
To say yesterday was a weird day is to say Tea Party members are one cup of Cocoa Puffs short of being completely cuckoo.
I was driving to happy hour last night (amazing what you can do when you work from home and you’re right in the heart of civilization) when I saw someone I miss very much, walking dogs on the A1A. Sigh.
I didn’t stop because I was already an hour late. But he was just so patient with those mongrels, I started thinking, God, the only person I know with that kind of patience is (X). And then I realized, lo, I knew that guy.
I texted him to say hi but I got nothing back. I’d wonder what I did to piss him off but I think the real question is “how much of my crap did he take before he decided not to take it anymore.”
Otherwise it was a nice night out in what I’ll call Utopia. Every once in a while, we all get together and someone waxes poetic about the way things are going to be and those of us who are “in it” exchange glances and order refills on our wine.
My friend and I stayed out most of the night, long after everyone was gone. Just sitting on overstuffed couches on the avenue, nursing our way-past-last-call drinks and saying the things we can only say to each other when no one is within earshot.
Maybe the right song for this entry is Kenny and Dolly’s “You Can’t Make Old Friends.” You know I don’t trust too many souls out there but damn it’s good to feel safe every once in a while.
Now back to reality, and that feeling of being “out there” in the ether again. Like when someone you adore stops hugging you and you suddenly realize how chilly the air is. Or you feel the wind blowing through that hole in your heart when everyone goes home and your Utopia vanishes and you’re wondering what the hell just happened and whether you imagined it all.