By all accounts, it was an extraordinary day.
Got an amazing message from an old friend to start the day off right, received my gold iPhone (it’s syncing now. Thank you Evil Landlady for showing up at work today since you missed the delivery attempt yesterday), got out of work early at 6:30 p.m., got to Publix and finally found my beloved Weight Watchers Triple Chocolate Brownie Bliss bars (and bought five boxes), had time to stop at CVS before it closed and basically just had a Good Day overall.
But even before that …
That familiar voice half-roused me in the middle of the night. “Goddess, there’s something you should know. Let me show you what you didn’t see.”
And so the dream began, taking me to this set of conversations, and I went into fly-on-the-wall mode.
I saw the same person I’ve been questioning. And they were talking about me to everyone they saw. But … listening closely … it wasn’t as bad as the first go-’round.
Oh I heard my words repeated all right. But it wasn’t with embellishment this time. Rather, the thoughts were incomplete … out-of-context. Making me look like an idiot, yes, but making the speaker look like an idiot, too.
I wouldn’t say I was smug about it, but I realized I was in the clear with the people whose opinions I was worried about.
I didn’t sleep much after that, just letting my imagination go a little further than normal on unrelated issues.
I had asked myself yesterday during the loooong drive whether it’s better to squash certain thoughts or to simply let them run their course. I think the creative writer in me longs for the latter, while the right-brain-controlled part of me puts up the roadblocks.
Creative me won today. After all, I do have more books to write. Sometimes a girl’s gotta let the characters explore and develop and feel more alive than the person who will be writing about them.
And my little mind wandering led me to this: Aside from people I have to train myself not to trust with everything, what if there are others whom I haven’t been trusting enough who might very well be worth the risk?