Best moment of yesterday:
My boy: “Whatever they pay you here, it just isn’t enough.”
Me: “It’s fine. And they pay me in love to make up for the rest.”
My boy: “They should pay you in bullion. That’s way more useful.”
Second-best moment of yesterday:
Friend: “Are you allergic to texting people back?”
Me: “I hate small talk and try not to engage in it, so yes.”
Friend: “I wasn’t asking you about the meaning of life. I was just saying hello.”
Me: “The meaning of life isn’t all that interesting either. It’s ‘to die.'”
Friend: “Well, what do you do before then?”
Me: “Pray for death?”