Well I’ve slept eight hours over the past four nights. That’s CUMULATIVE.
Thanks steriods!
I think the meds are working, thank God. Although it’s been a bitch to get through these last few days, running on even-emptier.
At work I have someone who likes to visit all the time. Which is fine I guess, but I get hugely upset that this person is A) paid more and B) recently complaining about being so bored as to be supposedly counting ceiling tiles.
When I am very clear that my schedule is JAMMED and every interruption means I have to stay LATER and work ON THE HOLIDAY — even more so than I already planned to.
And don’t get me STARTED on how their dicking around for six months on something for me has directly resulted in me losing four weeks of vacation AND that’s the reason I might not be able to fully enjoy my meager weekend getaway coming up.
And now I’ve come to find something else I’ve been ASSURED has been done for six months has NOT. And may never get done at this rate.
Keep counting ceiling tiles. *scream*
Said person asked me, “Well, can’t so-and-so do that for you so you can go out for a drink?” No.
“Why?” Well if I had been able to start training them six months ago, this wouldn’t be an issue — I’ve only had two weeks to train.
“Well can’t Marketing do it?” Why would I have Marketing trained to do Editorial work (even though I do some Marketing work)?
“You need a drink.” And you’re contributing to that state of mind. And furthermore, I am on a dangerous combination of drugs and I probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee and getting behind the wheel.
I know everyone reads this blog and pretends not to. Fine, let’s go with that. I’m shouting into the void here. And maybe I am. But I am so TIRED of having to pray to my God every day to just help me get through it.
My token Gemini trait of “you cease to exist to me” is in high gear. Folks need to stop haunting me. It’s not that I am incapable of letting my guard down; it’s that everyone keeps giving me reasons not to.
Next year will be better. This year, however, is ending exactly as it began — hoping that my reward is coming and that it will be worth every ounce of grace I’ve had to muster so that grace can finally, mercifully be shown toward me from more-important people than the mere mortals in my path.