Caterwauling

(And insert relevant song lyric.)

Bad day. Shouldn’t be blogging. But I don’t have the luxury of taking time off to deal with life. That I got an hour this morning, I should be satisfied.

I just … didn’t expect the emotional fallout from the medical adventure.

We are up to four potential diagnoses. Four. And a lab that apparently likes to take its time. This could take six weeks to diagnose. SIX!

I have to get an internal medicine doc stat, too, from the sounds of it.

I’ve been in tears most of the day.

I mean, I know I’ll do what I have to do to get better. Just as soon as I know what it is to treat.

In the meantime, forgive me if I just don’t care about much of anything right now.

(Insert sad trombone.)

Let’s just COUNT the ways this day sucks so far (and it’s not even 11 a.m.)…

1. Insomnia. I mean, ZERO sleep. NONE.

2. Doctor’s appointment. Stitches out, stitches in. Four follow-up appointments scheduled.

2.a. Stitches hurt like a motherfucker this time around.

3. Work phone died yesterday after I beat it (er, it beat itself. Yeah, that’s it) to death. And I got a new one. So I will never miss a conference call. Ever.

4. Keyboard died while I was pounding on it.

5. Why was I pounding on it? Can’t say yet. Not my news to deliver. But my heart broke so loud that it surprised even me.

Re: No. 5. I’m so glad I hugged him the last two times I saw him. I don’t think I’ll see him again. And judging from my reaction, clearly I’m not sure how to wrap my mind around that just yet.