Caterwauling

First, see prior post: I Offered Someone a Job and I Regret It

So I get a voicemail on my work line, which comes to my cell phone. Now, I have told said candidate that you will not catch me at the office on a weekend. I also said, “Think about my offer over the weekend and we will speak Monday.”

So for him to leave a rambling, over-the-top voicemail on a line I am not answering — mind you, when he said he had to accept/refuse another offer by 4 p.m. Friday — cemented my nasty gut feeling that he wasn’t worth the trouble.

He said he might be able to make my numbers work (um, I gave him what he wanted) but he really needed to know the scope of the position. And he still has questions and concerns that he’d like to discuss.

I do not know how much more I can tell him. Because if paying him significantly more than the market rate for someone who actually has relevant experience isn’t enough, well I don’t have anything else to give.

You shot your wad, kid. Nice knowin’ ya.

I felt like I had the upper hand and didn’t have to give away my power. But then I did.

I had a shitty candidate pool. I fished the one decent candidate out of the bunch and I feel like the girl who just waited for SOME boy to look at her. Not the right boy.

The kid is young but very bright. Good editor. Good head on his shoulders. Not the most interesting person on earth but I thought, for having a year and a half of experience, I could mold him into something great.

And then he’s asking for my salary. Like, playing hardball with me and demanding an answer ASAP.

Homey don’t play that. I take time to make decisions. Not much time — I needed to sleep on it. But I didn’t have that. He put me on the defensive with a phantom (I think) other offer for a huge salary that frankly I think he should take.

I had just talked to my girl S and to HR about the fact that I was not attached to the outcome. I was willing to raise my offer a bit but I think he’s already out of his depth and I would feel like I am “giving” it to him rather than him earning it.

Also, some punk who was born while I was in college bossing me around on the first day of the relationship? I don’t want to continue it this way.

I did give him a final offer and told him he has the weekend. But I want to retract it.

I told my boss, before that final call, that I wanted the weekend to think about a counter offer. Me. My power. My PSYCHIC power, which I didn’t say. I wanted the night to sleep on it.

He said meet the kid halfway and be done with it, with a raise in six months.

I told the kid a raise ONLY IF he is pretty fucking exceptional.

I feel powerless and walked over and angry. And if this dumbass actually admits what I’ve felt all along — that he’s playing us — I am going to be all over his ass for the slightest thing.

I said before all of this that I would rather be alone than wish I were. No I am not a fan of the 72-hour workweeks. At all. But I like my team. The wrong person will fuck it up.

And I didn’t sleep last night. I am sick over the situation and want it undone. In the two short hours of fitful slumber I did have, I saw myself walking out because I could see him aligning with the boss and making my life hell.

I am so angry. I did not want to be pushed into making a rush offer. And I was. I let myself be. This kid isn’t worth it. He really isn’t.

Is it the money? Partly. I wasn’t making that salary till I was like 32. But moreover, these people won’t let me put mom on our health insurance — and I work my ass off for them — but this fucking kid out of nowhere rates? I mean yes I made the offer.

But goddamn it what is in it for me, other than finally getting help from someone I think is only interested in helping himself?