Just as I’ve been drafting up my own Evil Plan for taking the office from being a place that’s killing us to one that might actually keep us alive long enough to kill us later …
We get a note from HR that they are implementing a Wellness program. They want to know what sorts of classes we would benefit from.
Assuming that means we get to take a lunch hour (ahem) to attend them, I propose:
- How to Burn 75 Calories Dodging One Meeting Reminder
- How to Drink Just Enough to Tolerate People Without Them Being Able to Tell You’re Drunk
- Hands-Free Orgasms at Your Desk (or Anywhere!)
- 5 Inexpensive Ways to Buy Back Your Soul from the Devil After a Conference Call Ends Early
- 3 Easy Strategies to Fake Your Death (or Accelerate Someone Else’s) and Still Get a Paycheck Without Prison Time