Caterwauling

I have been loved by some truly amazing people.

Being habitually single isn’t so bad. I’ve been open and free to the universe’s gifts.

I’m w lucky girl indeed.

Undoing people’s interpretations of things is going to be the end of me.

Plus, OMG.

Fifty.

Dates…

Making sure to keep the filthy texts out of the text message conversation with the boss.

Of course, I’m pretty proud of my ability to carry on concurrent conversations … hope that stays true!

“When I breathe, and breathe into you
And I feel right to the bone
And I give what you give
And we go even higher than we are strong
And the cracks in the walls covered up by the sheets
We live underneath
All the sex, all the nights, we stay up, yeah we stuck
But we’re more than free.”

— Tove Lo, “Got Love”

It’s just too bad that a girl can’t get good help around these parts. The ability to take a day or an hour off is an impossibility with what I’m working with.

This is preventing me from getting some. I am a much happier, more productive employee when I am getting some. And I need to get A LOT to make up for lost time.

If my next orgasm is dependent on one person’s ability to find their ass with both hands AND with instructions, the business is doomed.

My mind was already wandering a bit when I got a text from one of my boys from the wilds of the Midwest.

I’ve never mentioned him but we’ve been friends for the past year. Actually I often called him one of my “kids” because he’s young and I ended up being a bit of a mom figure to him. (Gah.)

Which he needed and I’ll admit I wasn’t too bad at.

Anyway, now, he’s become my hero in a big way.

He identified where things were going wrong, we talked about the one and only solution, and I kicked his butt a bit to take a baby step forward. I was cheering him on all the way and willing to walk with him if he wanted.

He surprised me and took a flying leap instead. All by himself.

And today, he just sent me a photo of himself looking like a completely different person. He looks at peace. Happy. The guy I remember meeting not so long ago.

My heart swelled with this weird motherly pride he’s always inspired in me.

Today he doesn’t know it but he graduates from one of my “kids” to one of “my boys.” Which is a pretty special designation.

You wonder if people can look at you and tell what you’ve been thinking and/or what you’re thinking of instead.

You also wonder whether bringing along a spare pair of underwear might not be a half-bad idea …

Gotta love being in the midst of exchanging seductive texts and your night-owl colleague hits you up with five texts right over what’s supposed to give you a sweet dream.

Funny how when you know people are on the precipice of making what, for all intents and purposes, looks like the easier choice, you have to remember that for them they are often making the harder choice.

After all, you’ve got to wonder how many people are looking at you and thinking WTF when it comes to your choices and you wish you could explain, hey, yeah, you walk in these hooker heels and see what YOU come up with.

Of course, I wouldn’t mind letting someone else figure everything out for me sometimes …

This week I:

• Went to lunch with a wallet from which I’d forgotten that I had removed my credit cards.
• Broke the rearview mirror.
• Lost my shoe in the rain and couldn’t recover it from the quicksand.
• Cried a whole lot.

This weekend I:

• Fixed the reariew mirror.
• Returned to look for the lost shoe. I did not find it but I did leave with a shoe on each foot.
• Bought two cute leather jackets for fall. And a dress to save for a special occasion.
• Said a lot of things I needed to say. Without fear, judgment or repercussion.

The good thing about me is I get emotional exactly 12 times a year. Kind of like my 12 days of Christmas, only mine happen every 28 days. (And best present ever, by the way. The joy of knowing one is not knocked up, yes, but also the excuse to be oneself.)

I feel like I aged a year in the last seven days, and I certainly look it. But I earned every damn gray hair on my head and I will wear it like a badge of honor.