Caterwauling

My friend texted me today to tell me the stupidest person in his company got a promotion and a raise.

Six hours later, I sent the very same text back because it happened under my nose too.

My friend said he’s just going to act stupid too.

I think I’m going to follow suit.

It’s either that or we give up. Which is becoming an attractive option. Especially after one of my boys told me I “need a raise” (and I quote) because my workload (and how much of it I ACTUALLY ACHIEVE) blows his mind.

Being smart doesn’t pay. Working nights and weekends doesn’t pay. Not knowing how to find your way out of the birth canal without someone shoving an iPhone with Siri up your mother’s cooch? Gets you into your next tax bracket.

I will try very hard not to think about that as I work the weekend AND the so-called Monday holiday.

I have no business blogging on what will become my fifth 14-plus hour workday this week.

But …

I tapped our brand-new person for an extra hand with two things.

She did five and came back with more ideas.

And she did them well.

She did them more accurately than the person who has been training with me for seven months.

I think I’m a little bit giddy.

Everyone has driven me bugshit nuts this week. Except her. I hope this is a good sign of amazing teamwork ahead.

A rogue tear fell out of my eye the other morning, listening to Blake Shelton’s “Don’t Make Me.”

Of course, I joke that I always cry on the way to work. I did that a lot when I commuted to Rockville, Md., and Jupiter, Fla. Mostly because, on top of Everything Else going crazy in my life, the drive each way was also perfectly hideous.

But it’s like the joke was on me when I cutlined the photo, “Heard a sad song on the radio. Spontaneous tears. Of course, I always cry on the way to work.”

That’s because I went on to have a bad, bad day that day. It’s like all my boys collectively started their man-strual cycles and decided to rain blood clots on my head.

On top of that, I had computer problems for the upteenth day in a row and the AC was off most of the day.

And (I think) I was still an angel even though everyone was being a butthead.

At least I got the crying out of the way early. I was too tired to do it after it was all over!

I would say I deserved an award that day, but the fact that I get to do it all over again is reward enough.

Maybe I’ll be able to hold a smile today. For the whole day.