Yesterday I envisioned myself as Oprah. But I wasn’t giving out cars.
Nay, on my TV show I was instead yelling and pointing to everyone, “And you eat a bag of dicks! And YOU eat a bag of dicks! Everyone eats a bag of dicks!”
If today weren’t Saturday, I don’t think I’d be at home right now. I’d be in a maximum-security asylum. Or prison.
