Caterwauling

So let’s say in a hypothetical Bizarro world, someone thought it would be a good idea to have their lawyer threaten you because, say, you don’t have enough time to parse their incoherent bullshit.

But when you, say, propose nicely how to transform it into mildly coherent bullshit, you get publicly excoriated …

Wouldn’t it make sense to file a counter-claim to say, “Stahp it with the bullshit already”?

There was a trending Twitter tag recently, #imsavingfor. I listed mine as “Bail Money.” I got some retweets from fellow sufferers. And some others are ready to chip in for my defense fund.

I’m trying very hard not to stress out. But damn, people. You’re lucky I’m not Olivia Pope. She’d extradite your ass to Iran or something. Or sic Huck on you.

I think I need to hire Olivia ….

And this is why, while I will always swoon at the idea of Fitz and making jam in Vermont, I will always gravitate to Team Jake.

‘Scandal’: Olivia and Fitz are the Worst Couple Ever

“Throughout the show, Olivia and Fitz have continuously allowed common sense to fall by the wayside, holding on to the fantasy that they could live happily ever after post-White House. Liv has not only accepted that this isn’t realistic, but now sees Fitz for who he really is — weak, ungrateful and far too willing to throw it all away. …

“Maybe now Liv can permanently set aside her dreams of making Smuckers with bae and get back to being the fixer we loved in Season 1.”

Today is one of my last work-from-home Fridays in my bedroom that overlooks the Intracoastal to the west. I can also look east at the ocean from my north-facing window.

I’m sad because I have loved this view and haven’t spent enough time taking advantage of it. Sadder still that I have access to a private beach and I might have visited it a dozen times in the last few years.

Mom is not happy with my apartment choice. Lost views and private beach access notwithstanding, it has carpet. It’s a lot of white. And it’s smaller. And a bunch of other things.

So basically she’s gone from, “I hate this dump” to “What possessed you to take me away from this wonderful place?”

She’s got a point. It costs the same. It’s not ideal in any way. But it overlooks a quiet lake. And there’s a Starbucks within walking distance.

And sure, I’m not a fan of paying for the basketball court and gym and three pools downstairs.

But after six years of b.s. from the McManagement here, isn’t it time for a change of scenery … even if the scenery is less beautiful?

I already don’t have time to fill out the paperwork let alone to pack and clean and call movers and, oh, tell the current place I’m leaving. Now to have this lady with a heavy heart looking sad all the time because I’m uprooting her? If the move itself doesn’t kill me, that will.