Caterwauling

Every Wednesday, one of the boys gets brave enough to start hinting around about the weekend. 

Which is proper. He might have been raised right. 

However, I always either drop out of the conversation or dismiss the idea before it can even be broached.  And I’m home free. Generally. 

Today I didn’t get so lucky. 

He texted while I was driving home. To ask if he could have the honor of taking me out Friday.

It’s been four hours and I haven’t replied. 

I can’t be on social media because then i will have to reply. So at this point I’m just pretending I died or something. 

Like my friends say, if a guy is going to get pissy and leave you at a bar when he was the one who took you there, why on earth would you voluntarily go out with him again?

Mom is a little more forgiving, although not much. She said you don’t have to sleep with him. Um, wasn’t planning to. 

I want friends. I want love. But why does this one think that it might be him?

Last time I let a guy wear my defenses down (and I had them up when it came to him for a long time. Eight years if you can believe it), it turned out interestingly. 

Very interestingly. 

But …

But in the end he’s just another guy who survived the chase and decided that was good enough once he got the girl. 

He didn’t need to keep her. Not even after he got her to feel the way he said he did. 

Which is fine. I think he did care. I know he still does. But that just wasn’t enough. 

In any event, I have zero desire to be in that situation again. So I can’t put myself in it. 

And silence is the kinder response than what I really want to say about it all. 

I just let Evil Landlady 6 know that I’m not staying.

She said she was just about to put my lease renewal in my door.

I said I usually get it in December. So I figured with the construction, my lease wasn’t eligible for renewal.

She said not true and oh hey by the way you’re supposed to give 60 days’ notice.

I said funny, my new lease starts April 1. Not gonna happen. Maybe if I had known sooner, I would have responded sooner.

I tried to be nice about it. I said I will miss the view. I said six years is long enough to be in one place. I said I know the place will be beautiful when they finish their renovations (in 2047. *cough*).

But I’d appreciate finishing out the month and taking a few extra days to clean, if that’s OK with her.

What I didn’t say is everyone else I know moved in the middle of the night with like 10 minutes’ notice.

I didn’t say I think you guys already ran out of money and the construction has all but stopped BUT half the building is still boarded up.

I didn’t say your maintenance guy is useless and I’d love to not fall in a pothole eight different times before I get to my car.

I definitely didn’t say the construction dust is making my cat and my mom sneeze their heads off constantly.

I didn’t say the pool is unusable with construction and I still didn’t use it before because it had turds and cum in it most days.

Nope.

Instead I focused on how I’m going to miss being able to drop a penny from my balcony and have it hit the Intracoastal Waterway.

I thought about all those beautiful eastern sunrises I can see over the ocean. And the western sunsets and their pink and orange streaks that take my breath away.

I thought about walking to the pier for bonfires.

I thought about how, after a full day of crazy, I could ride the A1A home and enjoy the scenic drive.

She said I can think about it overnight, if I want to change my mind. She won’t raise my rent and she’s willing to do a seven-month lease.

Too bad I’ve already spent thousands on the new place. THOUSANDS. And more to come for the move itself.

I’m starting to get that sick-sad feeling I had as I left D.C. for the last time …

Hiring right isn’t what’s expensive.

Hiring wrong is.

In case anyone thought I gave up on my leadership blogging, come check my “drafts” folder …