When I “broke up” with Pittsburgh like a hundred years ago, I left mostly dry-eyed. My family and friends were still there, yes. But I was ready to move to D.C. when I did.
When I left D.C. I was a mess. It was an ugly breakup. Everything was just feeling so wrong, and I felt like my only choice was to just go.
So this weekend, when a favorite part of D.C. came to visit me — the first real friend I made there — you can understand why I’m having All the Feels about it.
After a couple days of truth-telling and bottomless Bloody Mary/Mimosa drinking, we went to see “Inside Out” this afternoon. And I pretty much lost my shit during a particular scene.
Without giving away too many spoilers (I hope), there was a part of the main character’s memory that had to be left behind so she could move forward.
I burst into tears. And my friend grabbed my hand and didn’t let go for the rest of the show.
Which, first of all, I love my friend and I’m so glad he called me months ago to let me know he was coming to town so I would be free.
And second, I love that you really don’t have to leave anyone behind if you don’t want to. We all still exist in those little iPhones we cling to as if our lives depended upon them.
In any event, I find myself in a near-constant state of homesickness for D.C. that hasn’t passed in six years.
Not that I want to move back for good, but I’d love to be a snowbird. That would be a great summer home.
I made a new friend this weekend, too. Who lives in the heart of D.C. and who said he has a guest room if I ever want to come up and see my friends. Which, YES.
My friend said he had no idea how much he needed to see me until he got here. And I realized as I said goodbye, that feeling was quite mutual.
Dollars to donuts, I bet if I still lived up there, six years would have gone by without us crossing paths. I mean we lived down the street from each other, and my job took over my life and all my friendships moved to life support.
I’m very grateful key people like him didn’t pull the plug (and I understood it when others did).
I almost don’t want to go back for a visit because I can’t imagine anyone else is left. I mean, I don’t pine for D.C. per se. I pine for the friends I lost touch with before I ever left.
Maybe that’s why Pittsburgh wasn’t so hard to leave behind. I saw my friends a lot. We had many parties and nights out. I wouldn’t say that the friendships ran their course, but we definitely had a ton of fun and played/loved hard.
Like, I always feel like I have one foot out the door here in Florida. That I’d take the first plane out of here if I could ever get a day off.
But I never got my chance to fall in love with this place either. So I also feel like I’d be on the first plane back after I didn’t find what I was looking for someplace else.
In any event, I had to laugh with the movie because Lewis Black was inside the main character’s head. He’s sure inside mine sometimes.
But today, Joy was inside my head. So was Sadness but Joy definitely prevailed.
My friend paid me the best compliment. He came down here to go deep sea diving. And he said spending today with me was on par with being 60 feet below the sea yesterday. I know he loves being out there, so I’m honored.
For me it was more like coming up for air. But our personal choice of elements aside, I can relate.
There’s something special that happens when home comes to you. Thanks, D., for the peace I haven’t felt in a long, long while.
Best souvenir ever.