Caterwauling

When bad things happen, you know inherently that there’s a lesson in them. But sometimes you don’t learn that lesson for a long, long time.

I’m used to employees grousing. I don’t hear it as much in my current life. But in some previous lives, you’d think people were being held against their will. I may or may not have been guilty of contributing to it. But I was also smart/lucky enough to move on, in many ways.

As a McManager, you have to learn the difference between regular grumbling and threats to the company. I detected a threat to the company earlier this year and sounded the whistle. And I was right.

Knowing myself, I feel particularly passionate when I’m super-invested in the situation. So I tend to have a higher appreciation for what I call “constructive bitching.”

I can’t say much more because, lawyers. But it gets me to thinking how annoying it is that people can make their thoughts/problems more important than yours, and it can impact/ruin your day/existence. Just like some people get all the perks when meanwhile you’ve been screaming “Pick me!” in your head and no one ever appears to be listening.

And at the risk of grousing (and lawyers), that’s enough for now.

I noticed that the HOA twat got a promotion.  Her email signature is now “senior” asshole. 

I was told I have to pay to replace the mailbox lock. At a condo where I am not an owner. Where I rent from an owner who pays fees that include a fucking mailbox. 

Screw it. I only get junk mail here anyway. Let it pile up to the fucking ceiling. 

After all the hell and horror I endure 18 hours a day here, they can’t throw a girl a bone?

So I still have no keys because the girls in the HOA decided not to show up at their office today. You know, they manage 600 apartments and don’t have to show up. 

So, great I get to tailgate people in and out of the garage at home for another day/night since it’s even locked from the inside. FUN TIMES.

At least when I got to work, someone had opened the door. Usually I’m not that lucky. Yay spare key in my drawer.

So, I did get a visitor today. This guy wanders in and starts to approach my desk. Nothing like being in a corner where I can’t escape.

In any event, this guy approaches and out of nowhere I said, “Hi, Matt.”

This guy looked, walked and talked exactly like a past employee named Matt. This guy not only double-took, but TRIPLE-took.

Why?

His name is Matt.

This Matt came in to sell us some services we don’t need. But how weird to “see” a blast from the past. It’s got to be a sign. I wonder if I should call him or something.

Spilled coffee on my shirt today. So I went to buy a new one. And lost my keys. 

Not just my house key. My mailbox key, my gate keyfob and my garage opener. Things that will cost upward of $60 to replace. That is, if the HOA doesn’t send them to the landlord again, who still never sent me the last fob I bought. 

Not sure how to be at work to welcome visitors when I need to be at the HOA office when it opens. I have a spare key in my desk. One problem down, I suppose.  Getting to it, however, is a whole ‘nother one. 

I dreamed I met Janet Yellen and she invited me to apply for a job at the Federal Reserve. 

I loved her. She was a riot. The thought of working for such a powerful institution scared the shit out of me.  But I really wanted to be wherever she was. 

There was this war going on in my head, between “omg opportunity of a lifetime” and “but at least I can hide in little companies that no one outside the field has ever heard of.”

Janet was having none of that. She said your career is going nowhere because the people and companies you think are so great are going nowhere. And since when were you ever happy not doing something to change the world?

I tell you, that dream was a bucket of cold water on my soul. And the Irish saying in my post title came to mind immediately. You don’t get to greatness just by hoping for it. 

Was Yellen trying to tell me that I’ll never see greatness on my current path? That maybe I need to stop letting psycho neighbors (who woke me up from my dream) be my biggest challenge? 

And was I somehow telling her I’m ok being off the world’s radar?  When the hell did that happen? Moreover, when did I become ok with it?

John Boehner just resigned his role as House Speaker and his seat. 

We can do worse. And probably will. 

I don’t know whether to donate to Planned Parenthood or Hillary or Emily’s list or to the Democratic Party.

I don’t have near enough to save the world. But I can tell you I’m more terrified than buoyant. The curse of understanding the issues and what’s really at stake, I guess. 

Tonight, I agreed to meet up with the ex of the boy I was over the moon for, back in the day. With any luck, it will be uneventful. You know, for a change.

After I agreed, one of “his” songs came on Pandora. Funny how a song can PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE and render you useless for four minutes.

In any event, I got to looking at the event I was invited to this weekend that I turned down. I really wanted to go the last few years and never had anyone to go with. This year I have someone to go with, and I said no.

It got me to thinking about the boy I was over the moon for. He screwed it all up by pretending there was someone else. I didn’t believe it and, after I saw ol’ Whorothy on social media, I will always refuse to believe it.

But I got to thinking, after I gave a big excuse to get out of this weekend’s invite …

This is what nice people do. We give a reason. We don’t just politely decline. I mean, I DO but then they ASK AND ASK AND ASK and finally you just want to stick a cork in the conversation.

I mean, I wanted to know “why” with the original boy. Why act like you’ve got something better waiting when you don’t? And with this one, “no thanks” is fine but it always comes followed by “mind if I ask you why” and I’m not going to say what I am really thinking.

In any event, it’s such a lonely world. We all need people. But we all hold people at arm’s length. I guess the original boy didn’t want me to moon over him (although THAT ship sailed).

I feel the same way about this other one — he’s not very good about keeping his hands to himself and I am admittedly a drunken-maker-outer with very little discretion. So, why invite drama?

I even said this, that me and alcohol are not a good mix so let’s leave it at that. But it’s not enough of an answer. It never is. Just like “well there’s Whorothy” didn’t do shit to satisfy my “what in the actual fuck is wrong with you” line of questioning.

So anyway, alcohol tonight. With a female friend. Who will hopefully not mention the other boy. Because, I’ve thought of him enough today, thanks. For a lifetime, if you want to get technical. And I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, even and especially if they felt it toward me.

Being awakened from a sound sleep to the tune of psycho neighbors fucking in the kids’ bedroom was enough to make me want to kill someone. 

Ugh. Female orgasms are supposed to be beautiful. That was gnarly. The good news for me is it lasted 30 seconds. I wish their fights were so short!

Watching Pope Francis ride in his Jeep Wrangler pope-mobile to Catholic University for his first-ever U.S. mass. 

Someone please explain to me why my heart wrenches and my eyes well with tears when I see D.C. on television. 

I guess I miss being proximate to greatness. And attending important things. Or avoiding them. Whichever. 

In any event, I’m happy the pontiff made it safely to the basilica. May we all be blessed. We could sure use it. 

A couple years ago, it was two hours to go until we launched what would become the biggest campaign in our little company’s history.

Even though we had slaved and prepared for weeks, there were still a thousand little details to be done.

And yet, I found myself on a very annoying phone call with the people being promoted.

I don’t remember the topics. All I know is they were unhappy with everything.

My superior shut that shit down with a simple, strong, “No drama on deal day.” We went on to have a successful launch, and that’s been our mantra ever since.

Today is another deal day. Murphy’s Law has been in full effect, but at least the people who will benefit most from the launch are mercifully cooperative (and grateful … and quiet).

It’s funny how some people will be difficult just because they CAN be. Sure, maybe they might have had a point. Or maybe they didn’t. Either way, thank God that project was a success because we worked our asses off for it.

In hindsight, it was just like having a baby to “save” a marriage. That shit was doomed from the start. But hell if we didn’t try everything.

Now I look at those people and their families (whom I grew to love) like exes who had so much promise, once upon a time. Now we’re all squabbling about child support and the love is gone.

One day, the drama will be gone, too. And we won’t have the need for silly rules like “shut up while we try to make magic over here, mmkay?”