Rather than focusing on the positive, and instead focusing on the not-negative, has been a good thing for me. Finally, something I can commit to!
Ran into a friend on the street yesterday. Was just in awe of how nice she was as she introduced me to a friend. She said she knew about me long before she met me. She paid me one compliment after the next. I said to the friend, “Isn’t she nice? That’s who I want to be when I grow up.”
Then she proceeded to tell me all these good things about the new person I was meeting. He was like uuh, I’m not that great. I said well now you know *I’m* not THAT great, either!
We all laughed. It was a very nice moment.
I meant what I said. That’s how and who I want to be. I want to always be the person who lifts people up rather than hurts them or drags them further down. And I want to only be surrounded by those types.
Rather than complaining, I’m making an honest attempt to just be grateful. Sure there are putzes in this world. But there are people like my friend, too.
There are people on the roads or in buildings you frequent who are a cherry tomato or 10 shy of a salad. But, you know. In the grand scheme of things, you really only have to eat a couple bites and leave the rest for someone else.
Then there’s the eternal internal battle to either be like everyone else, or be the opposite of everyone else. I think over the last year I’ve looked at how happy certain people were, and aspired (or the opposite, I guess, of that word) to be like them. But that doesn’t really agree with me fully.
I mean yes it’s good to relax and disconnect. I learned that and appreciate it now that I’ve experienced it. But you can’t be in “off” mode more than “on.” I can’t, anyway. It leads to nothing but crippling anxiety for me.
Yet I get it. I get it big-time.
A friend was typing recently that she wonders what people say about her when she’s not around. For me, I’m pretty sure people laugh at all my problems. Or at me. Which is why they are no longer going to be on display — here or anywhere else.
But as for that friend, I think of her often and very fondly. Which I let her know.
As I said, it’s not hard to make someone’s day. Especially when it’s the truth. And I think if we all spent a lot more time making people’s lives better rather than taking every opportunity to do the opposite, we wouldn’t have bloodshed and protests and hate and “presidential” (used loosely) candidates calling for RBG’s resignation because she dared say his candidacy is a farce.
I often say “ain’t that America,” as a hat-tip to my beloved John Cougar Mellencamp. But that ain’t an America I want to be in. So, I’ll do what I can to make my little corner better. I implore everyone reading this to do the same.