Carrie Fisher said she has two personalities, Roy and Pam. They represent the extremes of mental illness. One is the dinner, she says, and the other is a check.
I think she died worrying about her mom. I fear I will do the same.
I’m not kidding. I need to get my affairs in order. Not that mom wouldn’t pull a Debbie Reynolds and die the next day. She totally would.
Watching them in “Bright Lights” reminded me of us. We sing and laugh all the time too. I just wish, when I was working so hard when I was young, I had amassed wealth like Carrie did. This whole turning the whole paycheck over to the landlord thing is killing me.
Was telling a friend I know I’ll have to work till I die. But as I age, I want to go see the beach on a weekday. Binge-watch whatever is on my DVR. Ease my aching joints or soul and not have to suck it up and put on makeup and be at a too-early meeting and have to work late to compensate.
I don’t know that 23-year-old me could have done anything different. Life worked out the way it did. It’s been good. I’ll grant it that.
But with the Mango Mussolini’s reign about to begin, I think we will see a lot of people losing their will to live or at least to fight.
I joke that I might as well spend my money now because the world will end. I wonder what would happen if I paid zero taxes like him.
And I wonder what I could be achieving without getting sucked into stories about how much that dumb fuck sucks.
And that brings me to this:
http://www.upworthy.com/how-changing-what-i-did-every-day-changed-my-life
Just leaving that here. For whenever I’m not busy being the rock or crying a river. Or both at the same time.