That moment when all the weird shit adds up. And when you have to sit around and wait for someone to think enough of you to honor your relationship enough to talk to you like a grown adult.
To be fair, in all my sleuthing (and I’ve done a bunch), I had come to a different conclusion than the one I’m waiting to hear. The mystery has been fun while it lasted. But I’m still going to end up throttling someone. But the “who” likely changes.
When really mean, entitled folks are enjoying themselves and they probably forget how they treated people far less lucky.
Apparently I talk a lot more when anxiety isn’t crippling me. Or so I’m told. Some folks forgot I have a voice.
I love waking up without crippling anxiety. Wish it would last a lot longer than just this glorious week.
Early this year, I took my measurements. Something I’d never done before. But it was time.
I thought, aha, now I know my “true size.” The numeric one. Great, so now I can order things from the Internet with some modicum of success. Or walk into the store and not have to take four different sizes into the dressing room. Right?
Not so much. But whatever. I have every size in the world at home for skinny days and fat days.
But while I haven’t been losing pounds per se this past month, apparently I lost a couple inches without realizing it.
Got dressed in the dark today. Was looking for something beige to wear with a blue shirt.
Grabbed a skirt. Huge. Hmm. Grabbed another. Better but enh. Sitting in the car for the commute would pound out the waist enough to irritate me all day. Grabbed a third … perfect!
Took a gander at the size later. It’s that so-called “true size” I’d identified three months ago. Hah. Go, me.
January -4.6
February -0.8
March +1.4
April ?
That’s my running tally on my little chalkboard with my little pink chalk of my so-called weight-loss odyssey.
Net-net, it’s a 4-pound loss for the first quarter. Which is good, given how much I shove into my pie hole.
But you wonder how many setbacks could have been prevented. Rather, how many emotional late-night eating/wine-drinking binges didn’t have to happen if people could realize that karma is going to be an even bigger bitch than they think Hillary Clinton is.
In any event, here’s to a stronger second quarter.
Best advice I heard this year on that front — you can’t cut things out that you love. You just can’t. You need to find a way to make them work for you.
For the girl who shared her story, it was that her leader said she had to make her homemade mac and cheese, a multigenerational family tradition, work for her. Starving herself while the family enjoyed it wasn’t going to be sustainable. Maybe skinny it up a bit. Or maybe figure out what a real portion size is and load up on salad with it. But treat it as a banned food and you’re dooming your success.
My success last year was truly based on not having it all. Yes, I said not. I was mostly vegetarian but when I was near the “banned” items, forget it. I was “Overboard” like Goldie Hawn. And then back on the “learn to love that celery, Tubbo” bandwagon the next day.
But it worked!
This year I’ve been more like hey I’ll have a few bites of that chocolate mousse cheesecake from Junior’s or that Vesuvius cake from Sal’s or that pitmaster combo from Hickory Sticks or 4 Rivers Smokehouse. And guess what, if I want to eat the whole tub of hummus tomorrow, I’ll do that too.
So, obviously that didn’t work out for me in February and certainly not in March. But now I just need to figure out how to make cheesecake and barbecue work for me. Maybe have it once a month instead of twice. Or only follow it up with half a tub of hummus the next day. Whatever.
It’s a “forever” learning curve. But then again, isn’t everything? But it’s nice to learn from people who “get it.” Much easier to take advice from those who practice what they preach and have therefore earned the right to do so. They tend to actually know what they are talking about, so it’s easier to make taking advice work for me.