So we have to write dumber to not provide so much competition.
Now we have to talk dumber too.
And to be told this in public is an awful lot like trump saying he’s under investigation and his lawyer telling us we read that tweet wrong. Like, is everyone hearing this?!?
Every damn day:
My Spicer: I need your opinion.
Me: I pick X. Here’s why. (Insert long list of experiences, and what we’ve tried that hasn’t worked.)
Spicey: We are going to do the complete opposite of what you picked.
Me: Why?
Spicey: I promised Bannon. I was not tasked with knowing why.
Me: I was in your position before. And now I’m going to have to be the one to execute certain failure after you declare it so. Does this save money? Make 10% more? If so, happy to do it that way. If not, it costs man hours. And lots of them. Do you purposely pick the exact thing I advise against?
Spicey: Takes 90-minute lunch.
Worked from home today. It was all I dreamed it could be. And none of the being fetched, save for a couple phone calls that I could react to without trying to remain silent.
Guess I have to go back. Sigh. So nice without the two hour drive and the human interaction. I mean, isn’t saying hi once a month enough? Takes up too much time to do it every day.
Thanks, giant goose egg, for the good day.
Tripped not over the cat, but just in front of her.
Usually she trips me and I can tumble pretty gracefully. But today, like most everything except that Hazmat area my career has turned into, it’s my own damn fault.
Is that a golf ball in your left foot, or are you just happy to see me?
Here’s to hoping Lundbergh can ease off the summoning, lest I use my crutches as the blunt objects I’ve been dreaming of.
Well it feels like fourscore. But it was only seven.
Facebook reminds me of a work trip to Philly, and a weekend in Wildwood Crest, N.J. I’ll always remember.
A friend invited us to stay with him. Then when we got there, he said nope — can’t stay here. But I called this oceanfront motel and got you a room.
He neglected to say he wasn’t paying for the room. Or that it would cost me more than $500, in addition to the rental car the company wasn’t covering because the work was done.
But I finally got to see a real boardwalk. And have a real weekend off. And I could finally say I’d gotten to the Atlantic City area.
I don’t have a ton to say. Just that I had just switched jobs, was making good money, liked what I was doing and got to travel.
Those were the days.
How far away they feel.
If some folks aspired to mediocrity, they wouldn’t even graze their heads on that bar.
I didn’t say I was the one who overheard it.
I hope everyone realizes by now that I’m a big fat ball of goddamned sunshine. And that the gossipy. Snippy, negative see-you-next-Tuesday never stops running their mouth.
I mean I’ve shut down their negativity with high-paid witnesses present.
I permit a lot of things I never dreamed I’d let slide. But it’s so validating to spot projection when I endure it.
I must fear no-talent assclowns. Because they are running my country and ruining my life.
When fucknut got elected, I was thinking about promotional ideas for my services that everyone has since gone and murdered. I noted to myself, “Your CEO is now your president.”
I didn’t mean my CEO. I just mean, the election was my worst nightmare in more than the obvious ways.
With that orange shitgibbon in charge, he conjures up memories of every leader (at any level) you ever rolled your eyes about. The human bag of douche got enough illiterate people’s votes to ruin your non-working life. Because you weren’t stressed out enough.
I need to start fearing yachts, handsome men, bank accounts with commas, and people who don’t murder successful services and shame excellent writers because they’re not as milquetoast as the spook everyone throws their panties at.
Fuck this day.
I HAD these kinds of people in my tribe. Mediocre men destroyed that. Why does God want me to lose great people and replace them with what I’ve got now?
Or lack thereof.
“Employees — especially the stars — join a company and then quit their manager. It may not be the manager’s fault so much as these managers have not been prepared to coach the new workforce.
“Managers have been trained to fill out forms rather than have high-development conversations.”
I didn’t think I had enough crayons to explain this. Glad Gallup does.