I don’t know how some astrological sites say I’m not emotional. But most are spot-on when they say I’m an overthinker.
Case in point: Someone at work goes missing.
First thought: Good for them. Clear the mind. Find fresh air. Breathe deep. Come back ready to shine.
Second thought: Someone crazy is abusing them physically and/or psychologically and did I miss their call for help?
Third thought: I should drive around and find them.
Fourth thought: Wait, that person could tie me up and hang me from the rafters too. I should call 911.
Fifth thought: Maybe they are into that sort of thing. Carry on.
Sixth thought: No, really. People are crazy. They are going to get maimed and I knew this Misery shit was going to happen and I did nothing about it.
Seventh thought: *Googles criminal history of probable perpetrator*
Eighth thought: Fuck, I should do some work.
Ninth thought: How do I tell them it’s OK to reach out for help? You don’t have to bleed to death at the hands of Kathy Bates.
Tenth thought: Self, I will break your fingers if you don’t go do some work. They could all kill you. And enjoy it.
Eleventh thought: What does Tarot say? “Mollie, you in danger, girl!” Wait, are they Mollie or am I if I intervene? OMG someone’s gonna die today.
Twelfth thought: Fuck it. I’ll find out tomorrow. *YouTubes “Die Another Day,” because, Madonna.*
ETA: Blink twice if she bludgeoned your other knee. Also, the real Kathy Bates is beautiful inside and out.
