Boys love a sure thing.
That’ll never be me.
The smart ones love me while they have me.
However long that lasts.
Time is best measured in memories.
Not volume. Intensity.
It only takes one memory for them to never forget me.
It only takes one word for me to never remember them.
My ride-or-die just reappeared.
Friend: You got a brother-in-law for me yet?
Me: I got as close as I’ve ever been. But, yeah. No.
Friend: I normally charge but, for you, ass-wupping-grams are always delivered free.
Me: I have a better idea …
Friend: I’m on the next flight out. I got you, girl.
The only thing better than a pissed-off goddess is two of us.
Well, three, really …
It’s the official first day of my new life.
Bought a new dress and everything.
From Macy’s. May it soon rest in peace.
Macy’s, not the Tommy dress.
In any event, I’ve gotten well wishes today from seven old colleagues.
I rode out on a parade float. Could not have asked for a better job, boss or send-off.
My cup ranneth over when a friend saw I left behind my blue butterfly. Asked if she could have it. I was so touched.
I said yes and take something else I left because that’s even more you.
I left a couple other things too. So bittersweet to hear of people wandering in, seeing my beloved space empty and feeling sad at my absence.
It didn’t have to be this way.
But it is.
Funny how things happen that you never think will change you. But they end up changing everything.
Like your peace. Your patience. Your values. The way you look at certain people and situations.
Today I thank the universe for all the gifts it has given me. Even the gifts I’ve returned or that otherwise opted to go to the recycle bin, dumpster fire or wherever previously loved things go.
Thank you for serving your purpose. And leading me closer to mine.
And an unexpected cheers to the old friends who have come back into my life either because of my life change or simply as a sign that I’m on a good path.
There are more of those than I expected here. And one fewer where I was.
Yes, those of us who had a good time celebrate anniversaries and milestones.
It’s what people with real hearts do.
I tried to slip out. But lo, Hashhag made that Really Fucking Difficult. And today, Impossible.
When I get dragged through hell, I learn to reign over it.
What did I do?
I fucking smiled.
That’s all I had to do.
Go fish, bitch.
When Jimmy took me to Delmonico’s for the first time, he said …
“Only pretty girls get to go to Delmonico’s.”
Jimmy always was a liar.
The internet is so much more enjoyable now. Thank you for going away.
You do realize that you are the only person in our relationship. He and I left a long time ago.
But hey. If he ever comes to his senses, tell him to call me. Worth a shot to see whether I’d be willing to leave mine.
Senses, that is. Not relationship.
If folks weren’t so busy looking down their crooked nose at me … alternating between that and nestling their nose UP my ass … they’d realize I walked my fine ass away from their ass LONG ago.
I do have a fine ass, thanks. Heard that before but good to be reminded.
The rest of me is pretty awesome too.
That time when I knew that everyone knew what I thought they didn’t know but they did and he doesn’t know that they know what he thought they didn’t know but they knew all along and still do.
This is getting SO GOOD.
