Caterwauling

No, not Amen. I ain’t takin nobody to church here.

Although, this gets me to thinking about all the snowflakes who are out there saying “Merry Christmas” like they’re speaking against injustice or something.

When I worked retail in the ’90s, we were told to say WHATEVER WE CELEBRATE.

I celebrated Christmas, so it was fine for me to say Merry Christmas.

I mean, in hindsight, maybe it was just those of us who celebrated the pagan-christian holiday who were allowed to say what we celebrate.

But what my PC ass took out of it was if you are Jewish, you say Happy Hanukkah. Or whatever floats your boat, you know?

This year, my attitude is “We say Happy Solstice.” I mean, I won’t say it in my newsletter, which goes to Fox News devotees. But, you get the idea.

Blessed Yule, baybee!

In any event, I came across the word awen in one of the witchy newsletters I read.

Awen, in essence, is tangible inspiration.

And when you are inspired by the art or beauty or music or other magic that awed you, then you are awenydd.

The point of the post that I was reading was that awen is everywhere. You cannot live an uninspired life … you cannot CREATE when you are uninspired.

Great news … inspiration (awen) is everywhere. Go get some and see how your output gets elevated.

“My life is but a short and precious seed
Like three seasons of life in a leaf on a tree
And when I cascade to the ground I will not be done
I will mingle with the earth and give life
To the roots again
Can somebody say Amen?”

— Paula Cole

The full moon this week was the Gemini moon.

As ever, this moon kicked my ass.

Of course, maybe it was just an intense work week after two weeks of PTO.

I mean, Monday started with the extraction of my final wisdom tooth. Then I got called into a meeting at 10 to be told about two launches set for this coming Tuesday. Spent so much time on the phone that my mouth bled for three days.

Oh and one of those launches got thwarted yesterday at noon, after I’d spent nights and mornings working on it.

I already announced that I’m taking another week off to recover from this one.

(Hey, we get three weeks’ vacation. No one ever told me I couldn’t take them ALL TOGETHER.)

In any event, I imagine this moon that most makes us have to deal with our shadow selves certainly didn’t help matters.

“To light a candle is to cast a shadow.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

I take some comfort in this quote. You want to shine, great. Use your power for good, awesome.

Just be prepared to deal with the darkness that any action or other move forward brings with it.

I got to thinking during my time off. How I want to ascend and make more money, which means WORKING even more. But … this pace isn’t sustainable for much longer. Thursday alone had me on the phone at 6 a.m. and editing long past 6 p.m.

Also, I’ve always been fine with the title/financial cap. If you make too much, they fire you. Not just here. Everywhere. (See: Previous job.)

Two of my friends just got shitcanned. A week of severance each after working 20 years.

If I get fired for saying that, well. I’m tired of hiding my authentic self.

When you have a bad seed with a hypnotic hold, you end up killing the plant all the way down to the root. These were the roots with a lot of institutional history who served others very well. Like me and my team. BELOVED characters.

Bad seed is blah. Not an ounce of personality or compassion or even an inch of depth to them. Just barks orders and ghosts you. Makes shit up. Complains the numbers are wrong and then uses the wrong numbers to justify termination.

Reads one paragraph of an eight-page newsletter and sends a missive to me to blame me for going against their orders when no one did anything wrong.

In any event, this is a clear example of someone’s shadow side being in charge. The shadow is a terrible force.

OTOH, shadow is depth. The talking self (ego) appears to always be in charge in this scenario.

As a witch, my nature is to go head-to-head with these beasts. I go against it in the name of peace and paychecks.

On a good day, I try to turn these beasts into (professional) besties.

On a bad day, I go up against these beasts. The last time I did it, I lost my seat at the grown-up table. Like the one where the terminations were determined.

I wonder if this particular beast IS my shadow.

Like, if the shadow I have to sit down and have a drink with is an actual, physical, invisible-horned being that I can’t shake till I slay it.

What’s interesting is that this demon has the same tribal marking as the previous demon. It must be a portal to hell or something.

I used to scream “Brad’s balls!” every time I needed to open a jar or tighten a screw or do something hard that required mustering all my might. Lately I’ve inserted this name and characteristic.

Let me tell you, I just used it to open a jar of hot bacon jelly. And boy was it worth it because that shit was gooooooood.

Anyway, it seems like I need to exorcise this demon. For the greater good of the entire village.

It’s going to take more than one full moon cycle to send this werewolf to go howl with Herschel Walker.

But to banish this thing back to the underworld with the rest is gonna feel fuckin great.

Gonna go get me some more of that jelly.