One of the witches I follow once wrote that if the guy you’re with doesn’t turn you on so much that your period always comes early, ditch him.
I had that constant rush once. Had my period all the damn time. Like, can this shit stop so I can enjoy this man more.
When I was charged with the impossible task on Thursday, let me tell you. I don’t know if or when my cycle was due. (Given that I ditched all tracking apps post-Dobbs.) But god damn, did the rush come.
I missed the days of the “Cindy squirts.” Back when heffaroo was finding every social media account, blog or any other site where I made even a whisper of a visit over the past 20 years.
Cuz da bish had to tag me from said sites to announce her ominous presence. And my dum azz gravitated to her accounts to see what other stupid shit she had to proclaim about me that day.
(The beauty of Twitter imploding is she will NEVER find me on the new sites. Muahahaaaaa. And I ain’t lookin for her bish azz either. Also she will never leave Twitter as long as I am there.)
Anyway, I digress. I miss those Cindy squirts. I lost 7 pounds that week.
I imagine if the impossible task ends in lawsoot, I might lose that weight. And so much more.