I always made fun of my neighbor Tommy for never leaving his house.
We’re the same-ish age.
Like, take a walk, go to Delray for drinks, drive to Orlando or Key West for a weekend. Something. You wonder why you’re single? You’re boring.
I got dangerously close to becoming Tommy.
And now I see why.
It’s been a year since I fed cats, yes, we’ve been over that storyline before.
But I decided to go to the last cookout of the season this past Wednesday.
I had just fired someone and I needed a goddamned minute.
Pedro stopped me to talk as he always does.
He’s nice enough but creepy. Has always followed me around any chance he gets. He does it to every woman here. Most of them are lucky enough to only live here during the winter.
I tried to disentangle myself by reminding him that the HOA gets nasty if you put in an order after 1:45, and it was 1:40, so let me go get my hot dog now.]
He asked if I’m ordering a hot dog. Um, yes. He said what will you do after the cookouts are over. I said I don’t really come down here because I don’t like interacting with these people, so I’ll be fine, thanks.
He said maybe you can fire up the grill sometime and cook up some hotdogs, and I can come sit here and talk to you.
I said interesting plan. Gotta run, have a good afternoon.
Like, why on EARTH would I use the grill (which risks me having to speak to people here) … and why on EARTH would I invite him to hang out with me?
I mean, this interaction was totally innocuous. But still.
I would take more walks. I would go to more cookouts. I would feed cats. But other than one or two annoying women who need to die here, it’s the MEN who have made me hate it here.
Look, I have come to love my apartment and balcony. I hated it because I wanted better for Mom, and I was always looking for a better place.
But this is fine for me.
Especially now that I have the furniture where I want it.
Now that I use the “good” stuff she was saving for a nicer home.
Now that I make my weird meals that include salads with caramel popcorn as a side dish.
Anyway, not the point. But the point is I stopped walking because of this asshole. Back when the pandemic started and I was still in shape but couldn’t get to the gym, this dipshit was driving his golf cart up my ass and I was walking in the grass to get away from him.
Like, this isn’t just being nice and making conversation. It’s trying to get in my space when I am trying not to have my good time ruined.
We had a guy here, Kevin, who they fired and they gave his work to Pedro.
Kevin annoyed me. He spied on all of us. But never seemed to say a word unless the cops were called.
He was harmless. Loud and annoying, and not the least bit funny with his jokes, but very nice.
Kept his (physical) distance. Which I hated since he’d yell up/down five floors sometimes. But I never felt unsafe around him.
Anyway, with the cookouts over (there’s the annual “Fly Away” party today to say goodbye to the asshole snowbirds. Don’t let the door hit yin), I at least won’t run into Pedro again for another year.
And no I won’t be inviting him to watch me cook hot dogs. I’ll get mine for $1.61 from Costco, thanks, instead of $5 here.