1,500 miles away this time
I often wonder why people don’t leave relationships that aren’t working for them.
They look at me and wonder why I DO leave when all is well … and whatever isn’t perfect is fixable.
Like today. When everyone learned I am leaving my longest-term relationship.
Something else came along. As those do; I’m a popular girl.
I hope everyone knows that I was filled with so much love. That I AM filled with love.
I finally have something that’s mine. Yet I’m stepping onto the trapeze, with my toes barely hanging and the next bar not yet in my grasp. And I’m reaching for it.
“I don’t know if I can stand
— “Where I Stood,” Missy Higgins
Another hand upon you
All I know is that I should.”
Today, everyone is saying I’m an idiot to leave. They were right last time at first. But ultimately I proved them wrong. I’m hoping they are wrong this time, too.
If he’d never broken my heart …
If she’d never terrorized me …
Would I have gone on that date that led to me saying yes to something completely different … and hopping on a plane in two sleeps to officially kick off this new relationship?
No.
But he did … she did … and I did.
I guess some people try to fix broken marriages and relationships. They have their reasons. Some I even understand.
Meanwhile, others like me leave great ones. When nothing is even broken.
I made my lists. Why stay, why go? The lists were perfectly even.
He didn’t understand why I didn’t pick him. I don’t fully understand my choice, either. But the fact that I even made a list, told me how to choose.
When you have two loves, go for the second.
I just hope that, finally, this is the one that chooses me back.
So mote it be.