Caterwauling

I have lost bits and pieces of myself over time, and the one thing I regret losing was my quality writing time. I used to love blogging and getting comments (and I still do, of course!), but every time I blogged during the past few months, know that I had forced myself to make a showing. It’s not that I had anything insightful to share; quite the contrary. And I want to thank everyone for the loads of “fan mail” that has poured in during the past few days — it astounds me that not only do you care about some of the drivel posted here, but you also really want to know what it is that I am not posting. Wow!

Today, I awakened with an odd feeling — I wanted to blog! Clearly, from the minimal coherence of this post, y’all are saying, “Go back to bed, Shakespeare. It ain’t a heavy-flow (creative) day, is it now?” I feel a bit rusty, even though I’ve been quite happily immersed in e-mail (sometimes). I have thousands of thoughts that I can’t even begin to organize at this point, but I’m sure things will reveal themselves in time. Especially when I get access control on my blogposts and only registered users will be able to see what I’m up to. 😉

In any event, I’m making plans again. I guess I always was, but I do it with a bit of lightness in my heart. But there has been a great deal of innocence lost, and it’s not the first time. Back in 2001, I learned that I wasn’t immune to bad things happening. And that shook me to my core, because it killed me that my decisions weren’t the right ones. But maybe they were. And that’s what I’m thinking now. I had a few “What the fucking bloody hell?” moments, of course, but I never stopped long enough to entertain them. Days are journeys. Sometimes you want to sleep through them, but then you make no progress. And sometimes, you travel round-the-clock and end up square in the same spot you’d wanted so badly to leave behind. Other times, you put out your thumb and somebody gives you a lift to, if not your next destination, at least to the signpost that will lead you toward it. And from there, it’s up to you to make it seem like “I meant to do that!” And, in time, you will know that this was exactly where you were meant to be, even if you didn’t know it at the time.

The world keeps turning, sometimes despite you and other times for you. And it’s all we can do to keep from falling off the axis. But that just makes us understand and appreciate it more when we get back into orbit.

On iTunes: Bruce Springsteen, “Thunder Road”

This entry was posted on Friday, January 7th, 2005 at 9:45 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.