Caterwauling

I love Virginia because there are dozens of license plate designs and unlimited options for cutesy saying on your plate. I’ve been wanting to get a personalized plate for awhile, but I’m also thinking about whether or not I want to move across state or District lines, so I don’t want to make the investment if in fact I should be fucking insane enough to want to pack my shit and pay people to, like, move it and stuff.

I’ve gotten accustomed to the drive — I’ve found that spacing out and not noticing how fucking NUTS everyone else is makes for a way more pleasant twice-a-day commute. When I do feel like focusing my eyes, I am often entertained by the license plates of the people I almost hit when they cut me off. My favorite is I-H8-495 and its counterpart, I-H8-395 (I travel both of those highways every day — priceless!)

In any event, check out some rejected license plates in the metro area. I decided I want to apply for “SMRT-S” (smartass) because it’s the only thing that will fit on a plate that doesn’t involve “Get off my ass, you psychotic fuck.” And as far as not issuing some plates of questionable taste, I think we should give the plate to anyone who applies for “Asshole” or “Dumbass” or the like because, well, the first step is admitting it. Most people who are Oxygen Thieves tend to fail to realize it, but the rest of us don’t need to see their vanity plate to know that abortion isn’t just a choice — it’s a necessity sometimes.

On iTunes: Arthur Loves Plastic, “Persona Non Grata”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 15th, 2005 at 8:39 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.