Caterwauling

OK, this is a first — I am going to tell you about the BEST commute EVER!!!

It started at the Pentagon, where I watched a helicopter take off from the roof. I mean, it was so close that it kicked up like weeds and grass and shit, and some of the grass got IN the car because I had the sunroof open.

From the Pentagon, I got on the GW Parkway … where I immediately found myself behind a motorcade going from Washington to Potomac, complete with the cops with the flashing lights, the Secret Service SUVs, etc.

Seriously, I would LOVE to have a police escort like that every day, because we totally blew the speed limit (it’s a federal highway — it’s supposed to be 50 mph but my car just doesn’t go that slow and, apparently, neither do theirs) and I got to work in no time at all!

In any event, I assume it was a presidential motorcade — it was like a fucking parade route at high speed. As for me, I was hoping for a Princess Diana-being-chased-by-the-press type of event itching for us to get onto the Beltway, because I knew I would experience no joy greater in my pathetic little life than to pass Shrubya and have him see my “Don’t Blame Me — I Voted for Kerry” bumpersticker. Of course, that’s giving him enough credit that he can, oh I don’t know — READ!

I did pass the motorcade on the Beltway, though. Seriously, 75 mph is for pussies! Unfortunately, they took exit 39 (Potomac), a right-hand exit, and I took 38 (Rockville), a left-hand exit, so I was four lanes away when I passed what I presume to be the simple son of a bitch and his entourage, but still, it was exciting to me. I mean, it’s something that could only happen in Washington, D.C., and I was glad that even if I think the president is a complete bumblefuck, I still count the nation’s highest political official as my neighbor. Just a neighbor that you’d want to leave bags of flaming dog shit on his doorstep, but a neighbor nonetheless. 🙂

On iTunes: Chantal Kreviazuk, “In This Life”

This entry was posted on Friday, May 13th, 2005 at 11:30 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.