Caterwauling

Today was One of Those Days.

Don’t get me wrong — days like today bring a lot of accomplishment and a sense of fulfillment, as well as a good night’s sleep. (*knock on wood* — whoops, desk is metal — *knocks on head*).

But what probably only the girls will get is that I dived headfirst into my day without having any cosmetics — i.e., war paint — on my face. Like, I was facing the world without my face painted on.

People were scared. 🙂 And they acknowledged immediately that I clearly meant business. I have to admit, I love it when people just want to be nice to me because they see the mode in which I am operating! 😉

Here’s the deal — while makeup is something that enhances our natural appearance and makes us feel loads better about ourselves, it’s kind of a shield. I mean, we all know we are human grab bags full of every emotion under the sun, and who only knows if the good twin or the evil twin will want to be the dominant one during any particular moment. But when you’re all dolled up before you face your day, it sort of sets the “right” tone. You’re composed, poised, ready to handle whatever comes your way with grace and style.

For me, the madwoman goes into hiding when the eyeliner comes out. The undercaffeinated chick who had way too much aggravation on the highways yet not enough sleep to prepare her for it disappears behind a closed door for 15 minutes, after which the proverbial butterfly emerges. Only thing is, the makeup is more like putting on a pair of fabulously trendy sunglasses — it gives the illusion of a nonchalant, composed and polished exterior.

I find the same thing when I wear my glasses. Not because they cost way too much, but I remember when my gay high school boyfriend (didn’t we all have one of those?) got glasses. I thought he acted stuck-up when he wore them — like he developed an almost-visible air of pretension. Not that I’m the pretentious type, but it’s like having a shield, some days. Which is why I tend to throw them off my face when somebody approaches — much as I probably should have any kind of filter available when I’m not in a room by myself, I prefer to be present, real, “on.”

In any event, the makeup makes me present, real, “on.” I’m not squelching thoughts about my oily, breakout-prone skin and my pores. God, I hate my pores. And then those new laugh lines that just cropped up — the hell?!?! And let’s not talk about the wrinkles because I squint a lot (because I never wear my glasses when I need them!).

So when the makeup’s not on, you know I’ve got a bug up my ass about something, if I’m letting people see the “version 1.0” Dawn. Not to say that the makeup makes things a thousand percent better, mind you — I’ve still got the same features, just without a dusting of bronzer, and while I love the glow, it doesn’t make me gorgeous or anything. It just means I’m going to be brief, I’m going to be blunt and I’m going to be really pissed off if I don’t get what I want.

It’s fun to be a girly girl — and I will be until the end of time. But there’s a certain sense of empowerment knowing that you grabbed the world by its balls before you’ve even had your second cup of coffee.

And don’t worry — I got my war paint on by noon. I’d already scared hundreds of innocent citizens by that point.

Oh, and by the way, it’s called war paint because it camouflages you as a kitten when there’s really a zoo lying beneath the exterior. But make no mistake, there’s nothing like a little lip gloss to give your foot a little bit more power when you’re out kicking ass. 🙂

On iTunes: Garbage, “Stupid Girl”

This entry was posted on Friday, May 6th, 2005 at 8:51 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.