Tell me if you can relate
Maybe you have a parent, a child, a spouse or other beloved of some sort, a boss and/or people who report to you.
And maybe these people are quick to look at you to be the one to move mountains and make miracles.
Or perhaps they don’t expect it from you, per se. But they rely on you to work magic. Maybe so they don’t have to or because they just don’t have it in them and they know you do.
- Your mom understands that you are too busy to spend time with her or help her to get well.
- Your beloved realizes you’re probably going to move on with your life at some point and they are OK with it because it’s your move, not theirs.
- Your superior/subordinate is happy to let you worry yourself sick and work yourself to absolute death because, you will.
That’s the thing.
I’m a girl who wants someone, ANYONE to do some sort of grand gesture that makes me want to build upon it.
Yet, they aren’t going to.
They won’t.
They never will.
And here’s MY thing.
I WILL.
I would move across the earth for love. For peace. For health. For harmony. For whatever my dream job would be if this isn’t it.
I will do everything my boss wants me to do. Eventually.
Mom, I don’t know if she’s fixable now. I let her slide too long. But all I ever asked her for was to make the first move and I’d figure it out from there. Now, we may be too late.
As for the rest, I’m not saying I want to be responsible for any others’ grand gestures. Maybe I’d be happy and maybe I wouldn’t. Either way, I don’t want to feel obligated in any way, shape or form because of it.
Me, I am comfortable making grand gestures because I can own that it was my initiative and I take responsibility for the outcome.
I know I did everything within my power to make it work. You can say I messed up or made the wrong decision, but you can never say I didn’t try.
I guess I wish that just once, someone would meet me at least halfway. And maybe even really shock me by taking an extra leap so I don’t have to. Like maybe if instead of being proud of deflecting a task, certain minions would own something, anything that would ease my suffering and make me like/want to pay them more/keep them.
And here I said I don’t have any dreams left in me …