Bye Felicia, 2015 edition
Last year I think I resolved to not blame everyone so much. Self included.
I think I would get a C-plus for my efforts. So let’s not continue this failure fest again.
I need to go back to my achievable list.
- Get more Starbucks stars.
- Drink booze five times a week.
- Shave my legs more than once a month.
- Make out with inappropriate people.
- Consume my body weight in lentil chips.
Done x 5 and no balls will drop for another three hours!
I was chilling with one of the boys recently. He said I am allowed to have fun. He said he can tell I used to know how but have forgotten.
He also is mad at what I make. I didn’t tell him but when he gave me a number and said over/under and I said under, he said time to aim higher.
So I’m feeling inadequate right now.
I wanted to take a course this week but I was too busy with work. I need to master a new skill or else I’m going to die.
At least I didn’t blame it on anyone. Progress!
Maybe I got the resolution wrong. It’s not a matter of blame but accountability. Nobody gives a fuck what I do. Least of all me.
What if instead of wishing for shit, I made plans to achieve it?
I think we should all be mandated to meet with a life coach before year-end or else we aren’t allowed to pass “go.”
If I would have to stay in 2015 until I leveled up, fuck yeah I’d figure something out.
As it stands, my resolution is to adopt a mindset of “plenty.” Plenty of time and money and energy to move, get a car, get up north and buy a plane ticket to Europe for 2017 at the latest.
And to watch a little less “Housewives.” Which, I have a better shot at shaving my legs twice a month instead of once. But, you know. Gotta aim for something.