Traitor

Mommy spends so much time at Aunt Daddy's house, playing with his three kids, that she seems to forget about me. In fact, why doesn't he visit me? He's too busy with his new kids now -- Kirby, Topsi and Jynx. Mommy comes home with their fur and drool all over her. And while I don't socialize all that much, it kinda bums me out that she's always playing with her niece and nephews while I sit here, longing to open up my containers of treats but somehow cannot master those cat-proof lids. But would I want to play with a bassett hound, a miniature pinscher and a Yorkie? Hell no!!! I hope they stay home and far away from me!

Wait. Mommy just said that she and Aunt Daddy gave Jynx a bath. She must really love me!!! She hasn't given me a bath in months!!! Woo hoo! I love it that she's torturing another animal, and a puppy, at that. 'Cause cats rule. We don't need baths because we are more than capable of grooming ourselves. I think Mommy's just jealous 'cuz she can't stick her head into her crotch, like I can, so she punishes me with baths. Yes, that's definitely the reason she does that.

Aunt Tiff is cooking something in the kitchen. It is the same color of the contents of my litterbox. But is it as crunchy and grainy? At any rate, I hope my box is clean, 'cuz my poop really stinks this week.