Christmas!

Mommy put up her Christmas tree today and hung all the pretty ornaments and lights on it. It's looks terrific. Good enough to eat. Really. But Mommy told me not to. Silly bitch, I snagged a bite when she left the room. But then Aunt Tiff ratted me out and started yelling at me to get out from under the tree. Asshole! So of course Mommy comes stomping out to yell at me and pull me away from the tree, but honestly, for what reason could she have put the tree up if she did not intend for me to eat it? It is a bounteous Advent feast just for me.

But then she had to go and put this stupid glass bell ornament on it so she can hear me if I tug at the tree. So now it's "every time a bell rings, Maddie gets her ass kicked." Bitch.