Friday Five!

1. What holiday or holidays do you celebrate this time of year?
I celebrate the bounty of turkey dinners that I receive on Christmas Day. And I celebrate whenever Grandma sneaks me leftover turkey scraps when Mommy's not watching. And I celebrate my naps. Yep, 'tis the season to be snoozin', fa la la la la. ....

2. What was the best gift you have ever received?
Grandma always buys me endless packages of treats, so I would say those are the best gifts ever! However, Mommy keeps 'em in a wire basket on top of the fridge, where I simply cannot reach them. And that bugs the shit out of me, because they are MINE, damnit, MINE!!! And she's pretty damn stingy with them, too. She probably eats them when I'm sleeping in her closet. Yes, that must be why she does not give me more of them.

3. What was the worst gift you've ever given?
Yeah, like I have any money to give gifts. And my humans don't seem to like the shitpiles that I leave on their carpets, or the hairballs I leave in the bags and clothes they leave on the floor. Fuckers.

4. Where will you be celebrating the holidays? Are you hosting? Going away?
Oh, Christ. I'm off to Grandma's house on Wednesday, shoved in like a Maddie Burrito into my too-tiny cage. Mommy grabs me and wraps my little hot-pink towel around me, tucking my claws in so I can't destroy her clothing, and she slides me in like she's putting a burrito in the microwave. Motherfuck. I hate holidays where I have to travel to Pittsburgh. And Aunt Daddy won't be driving this time, so I have to prepare myself for four hours of angry lesbian music each way. Oh joy.

5. If you could spend the holidays with someone who isn't around, who would it be with? Why?
Hmmm. I miss my Unca Janna. She always gave me lots of presents to eat. But she always took tons of photos of me, and that used to piss me off. And I do love seeing my Grandma -- I just wish I could see her more often than on holidays. :) 'Cause she skips the presents and just feeds me a whole lot, which is fine till I have to get burrioted back into my cage, 'cause I always leave there 10 pounds fatter, or maybe it's just the cage that shrinks while I'm there. hee hee.