Dumb & Dumber

Or, rather, fatter & fatter.

No, that isn't in reference to Kadi and me ... just to Kadi, 'cos she seems like she's getting dumber and fatter as the days pass!

Mommy saw fit to leave us in the house alone for six days over Christmas and another two days after New Year's -- she had to go to Pittsburgh twice. The bitch left us in the care of Aunt Daddy, who happily fed us and scooped up our shit every day. But he really didn't need to feed us -- Mommy left us the auto feeder, which is supposed to feed two cats for five solid days. But after the second day, all the fucking food was GONE 'cause Kadi parked her fat ass at the feeder and ate till it was empty.

Kadi has a habit of stuffing herself full of food, sauntering over to the litterbox to foul it up, then going to our water fountain and drinking herself silly, then eating more and going and pooping it out. Jesus CHRIST she is as BIG as the fucking KITCHEN!!! Mommy swears Kadi put on five pounds over Christmas break alone. She's almost as big as me, and she's only a six-month-old kitten!

In good news, I have taken off a few pounds. That's because Kadi, now that we are back to using separate food dishes, can't stop herself from thinking that EVERY dish in the house is HERS. I like to nibble on a few kibbles, then leave and take a nap and return to my dish throughout the day while Mommy's at work, but I can't do that anymore. If I don't snarf up my food in one breath, Kadi claims it. Fucking fatass. So I go hungry a lot, although I know Mommy has been sneaking me extra treats to make up for it.

Initially, I was mad that Mommy didn't take us to Pittsburgh to see Grandma, but I really hate the trip and I didn't want to be stuffed in the car with Aunt Paul and Aunt Bryan and a week's worth of clothes for all three of them. Where would they have PUT me? Luckily, Grandma diced up some turkey from Honeybaked Ham and sent it just for ME!!! Of course, I did share some with Kadi, because that's just the kind of big sister I am. But I wished I had kept it, because I sure would love some turkey right now!

Aunt Leslie came here all the way from Ireland (via Pittsburgh) to spend the New Year with us. Kadi really liked Leslie, and she followed her everywhere and farted on her at every possible opportunity. Kadi started playing fetch with coffee stirrers, always giving them back to Leslie so that they could keep playing. I personally just laid low and enjoyed the time that Kadi wasn't bugging me and farting on me. Ick.

The little shit just dropped a load in the box. Ugh. I am going to go hang out by one of Mommy's dozen plug-in air fresheners so I can smell something nice for a lil while. Yuck.