Kadi Tarzan, me Jane

Now that Mommy's working from home, she brought home about seven boxes of shit from her old office. All knickknacks and lamps and pretty mosaic tables and other furnishings that we simply don't have room for.

This mound of shit that's invading the living room includes about seven huge plants. When she caught Kadi and me nibbling on the leaves, she immediately parked the greenery on the balcony, so when we press our furry little faces against the glass, we can't see the people in the parking lot because we've suddenly acquired our own fucking jungle.

One plant, though, Mommy kept inside for a few days because it turned mostly black during the 10-minute car ride it had to endure with Mommy's Nascar-esque driving skills. It had really long vines, so Kadi had lots of fun getting entangled in the six-foot-long vines and swinging across the apartment. You could almost hear Kadi emitting a Tarzan-like holler as she rode the vines from the dining room table and catapulted herself across the house, onto my head as I snoozed in the living room. Asshole!

Mommy finally pruned the damn plant and dumped it outside with the rest of the rainforest ... after, of course, I took my third shit this week behind the litterbox to show my disapproval of our new houseguests.