Soggy ass

Having a smaller litterbox (but still one with a lid) just means that it gets stinkier, faster. Hooray. Fuck this crap.

I took a shit beside Pooh Corner because Mommy hasn't scooped it since yesterday. With the bigger box, she could let it go for two days before I would protest, but holy shit, I get seasick when I go in there after Kadi's rancid ass erupts.

But wait, it gets better!

Mommy was typing at the computer last night, doing drunken blogging with the other fine folks at The People's Republic of Aimless Chatter. She'd had about four cosmos and three martinis when I jumped up on her lap. This is always a feat for me, because I am a lot of kitty and I usually wound Mommy in some way.

Well, last night was no different. I had taken a lovely steamy poop and had not yet seen fit to wipe my ass on the rug when I jumped up and parked my ass on Mommy. She went to pet me and -- guess what? -- she got a handful of wet kitty shit on her hand! HAH! It was like a big shitty kiss from Maddie -- *mwah*!!!

Don't you wish you had a kitty like me to bring such adventure into your life?

In any event, I do not think Mommy will ever complain about me wiping my ass on the carpet again -- she very much prefers scrubbing stains to having to disinfect her typing hand while she's typing!