Floored

Mommy gave me carte blanche to keep pooping on the floors and wiping my butt on the rug because she doesn't have any money for litter. Yee haw!

Of course, she said that when she does have money, she's moving our asses to a place with hardwood floors. Ouch! That would hurt to drag my butt across!!! She already hates digging the poop out of my furry butt -- what would it be like to remove splinters?