Pound for pound

Unca John told Mommy about a kitty who was on television who was only a couple of pounds in weight. It apparently has some genetic disorder whereby it won't grow any bigger. Mommy said that the cat probably craps its body weight every day. Then, she had the audacity to say that I try very hard every day to crap my own body weight, but I will never achieve it because I am such a fatass.

Um, if the bitch might FEED me enough, I could achieve that lifelong dream of spreading pounds instead of mounds of shit all over the apartment!

And Mommy is one to talk -- neither of us eats that much but we don't lose any weight. Besides, she's just jealous 'cause she doesn't poop as often as I do. Tragic. Perhaps she should try pooping on the floor -- I think that would make her want to void her bowels more. Don't you agree?