Bath shitter
Have you seen those obnoxious commercials for Bath Fitter? And that fucking awful jingle -- "Call Bath Fitter -- we're the perfect fit!" or some shit like that.
Anyway, I pooed on top of the litterbox (didn't bury it) and I didn't feel like wiping my ass on the floor 'cause Mommy hasn't cleaned all week and there were just so many skid marks already on the rug. So, I went into the tub and left big wet shit kiss prints on the porcelain. Aaah, PRETTY!!!
Mommy saw it when she got home tonight, and you know her and that FUCKING penchant she has to sing about my ass. ...
"Bath shitter ....
For when Maddie SHITS!!!!"
So, alas, now I am the Bath Shitter. Hurrah. I'd wipe my ass on that, too, if she bought it!
Bitch!
posted by Miss Maddie @ 8:44 PM
4 Comments:
Damn Maddie. You are starting to get inventive. Hey, wasn't that porcelain COLD?
Maddie, you will truly be a "wipe-ass-shitmaster" when you learn how to leave a skidmark "M" on the porcelain or the rug! Just as Zorro learned to leave his mark so shall you! One day when you become the Master you can pass your skills onto Kadi who will be your apprentice!!
--John
The porcelain wasn't cold to moi, as I have such a hot ass and all. ;)
And I will take on that challenge, John, of marking my territory with a big M. My stupid deadbeat daddy who gave me up and stuck me with Mommy eight years ago had originally named me Madonna, so alas, I guess I am still the "Divine Miss M"!
Work it, girl!
Miss Maddie
i have a piece of shit hanging from my calico ass like a dingleberry. miss maddie, can you bat it off with one of your paws? thanks a lot.
ms. patches
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