Night out!

Tonight is the best night in my miserable, hairball-filled life.

Because Kadi busted out our patio screen door awhile back, we've had no fresh air in the hacienda for quite some time. So tonight, Mommy locked her in the bedroom and left the door open. I was very good at first and only hung out inside the door. Then I got brave and let my head and front paws rest on the cement (but my ass was happily nestled on the carpet -- everybody knows you shouldn't poop and wipe your ass on cement -- that shit would HURT!!!).

But then I got REALLY ballsy and just went on outside. Mommy has a bunch of dead plants out there, and since the bitch never fed us dinner, I delighted in having a lil' snacky-snack on the dried-out leaves.

Mommy could hear me crunching, but she didn't care. She just told me to throw up on the balcony before I came back in. I was thrilled to have her regard me as the grown-up, responsible cat that I am -- she trusts me to not try to haul my fat ass over the railing and run for the hills. Lord knows my furry behind wouldn't fit between the rails, so she says she didn't have anything to worry about. BITCH!!!

So, all in all, Kadi gets locked up (and is therefore outta my ass fur) and I get -- as Mommy would say -- the stink blown offa me. What a night! I'm gonna go back outside before she locks up the house for the evening!