Terrible two

So Mommy says there's this restaurant that she drives by once in awhile -- called Hu Nan (although she'd rather order from Ho King -- way more appropriate for her, the hoe biscuit).

Anyway, apparently I have a fudge stripe running the length of my ass and lower tail today, and Mommy told me that she's gonna open up a restaurant for me called Pooh Nan -- 'cause she says I smell like poohnani.

Oh, the indignity.

As if she didn't ruin my day already, she chastised me for forgetting to wish my little sister Kadi a happy birthday on June 6 like I did last year.

So, fine. Happy Terrible Twos, Kadi. Although I'm not real sure how you could be any badder than you've been previously.

Anyway, you know Kadi's a few crayons short of a box, so you'll understand that when you see her trying to pick a fight with our broken vacuum cleaner. Appropriate, don't you think?



Happy birthday, assholes. (Mommy just had a birthday, too -- old bitch! 31 human years and no tomcat to speak of. I need a daddy, woman! Because I am sure he would buy me treats, and I have no trouble doubling the treat supply! Although that might mean I would lose my place on the bed, and we simply can't have that -- 'tis bad enough to simply have Kadi there, too!)