Real food!

So Mommy decided to grill some salmon for the Fourth of July holiday. And she even made some for Kadi and me! Hers was basted in this nasty teriyaki crap, but she made sure to make us a nice filet that was free of that shit.

But ... we really didn't even LIKE it.

All you cheap-ass kitty parents who keep feeding us this "cat food loaf" bullshit that you find on sale at your local Wal-Mart, listen the fuck up: That shit? SUCKS! We do not CARE that you get 47 cans for five bucks. FUCK YOU. Do you know what's IN that? Neither do we!!!! But when that's all we come to expect from your sorry asses, we do not KNOW how to react when presented with bona fide food from the sea! The sea, I tell you -- the sea! Not from a pond behind a cat food factory. Christ! Just because I LICK MY ASS does not mean that I deserve to eat CAT FOOD LOAF IN A MOTHERFUCKING CAN, now does it?

Fuck, that's why I've stopped cleaning my ass -- all I need to do is go look in my BOWL on an average DAY and I will be forced to eat something of roughly the same color and consistency of what I leave in the BOX! Or, around the box. You know me -- I never hit it. At least, not intentionally. ;)

We did eat the salmon, by the way. Mommy hid it in our nasty dry cat food, and we ate it. And it's gonna be a sad day when we have to finish out the rest of the case of canned cat food as memories of real salmon dances through our heads. Well, my head, anyway. I suspect nothing whatsoever dances through Kadi's widdle head. ...