Talented pussy

I've sometimes overheard tomcats telling Mommy that she has a talented pussy, and I know that they were right ... if they were talkin' 'bout ME!!!

Today the 'ho was in the shower (at like 2 p.m. What the FUCK? Only MY booty is allowed to stank at that hour!) and I decided that shitting on the carpet (mmm, diarrhea) to meld with the hot steam in the apartment was getting a little too fragrant even for my sturdy nose, so I tried to figure out what Mommy does when she's ready to commit olfactory suicide.

So, I did something very brave -- I turned on the vacuum cleaner.

Now, I normally run from it -- as Mommy drives it like she does our car which is like a fucking crack whore on a motorcycle after a binge) -- but Kadi and I just sat in front of it, in awe of its amazing, bagless cyclone action. When Mommy sprinted all naked and sopping into the living room (in front of our OPEN sliding-glass door, she snapped it off and looked at us in amazement. That was, of course, before she chided me that perhaps I might have tried PUSHING the vacuum, particularly over where we have kicked litter through the dining room. Litter that, incidentally, is in precious supply because her ass needs to go out and buy some.

In any event, maybe if she hadn't closed the door and blocked it with the vacuum, I'da just gone straight outside to "get the stink blown off" as she ALWAYS advises me to do!