My favorite word

It's too bad Mommy won't set up an audioblog function over here, because I talk. Not much, really. There's only one word I love to say, and that is "asshole."

How that came about was simple, really. Mommy and her roommates needed a way to really vocalize how they felt about each other, so when I would waddle into a room, they would project their voices as if I were the one saying, "ASSHOLE!"

And the thing is, it stuck -- "ASSHOLE!" became my battle cry. Whenever they were mad at each other, I called them assholes. Whenever I was mad at THEM, I would say, "Asshole!"

I must add that I am a Southern belle -- my dialect is more of a deep-South accent. Like, it just sounds glamorous and divine when I call you an ass-HOLE.

Now, when Mommy's in traffic, she uses my word and in MY voice, too. One time, Auntie Tiff was driving behind Mommy when someone cut Mommy off. Five minutes later, Mommy's phone rang, only for her to hear Auntie Tiff laughing hysterically because she watched Mommy's lips in her rearview mirror, yelling, "ASSHOLE!" at the, well, asshole. ;) And Tiff knew Mommy had used my voice -- it was like I was on the highway with them!

Anyway, I think it's high time I showed you MY asshole (warning: shit stain ahead!) -- this was me this morning, before Mommy cleaned me up. And believe me, I had a name for HER when she washed my ass, and I'll bet you know what it is! ;)