Decade o'defecation

MaddieAt10
Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn.

Happy birthday to moi
Happy birthday to moi
Happy 10th birthday to mmmooooiiiiiii. ....
Happy birthday to moi!!!

And no singing it like Mommy does. I do NOT smell like a zoo! I prefer "eau de public restroom," thankyouverymuch.

Yeah, bitches. On April 2, 2006, the world shall hail the fact that I'm 10 and still one hot pussy. No liposuction, no tummy tucks, no whisker-highlights, no wrinkle serum. I tried to tell Mommy that I'm hotter than Sharon Stone in her reprised role in "Basic Instinct 2," but Mommy said that if I spread my legs on screen, you wouldn't see a pretty pussy but instead a big long fudge stripe. ASSHOLE RAINING ON MY BIRTHDAY PARADE!

Remember how Pumpkin spit on New York in the "Flavor of Love"? Let's envision me as Pumpkin (Punkin' Puss, of course) and instead of spitting, I'll just be shitting. That's my birthday wish -- to fling poo instead of leaving it on the floor!

I got Mommy good, though. She groomed me yesterday and she awakened to a big ole unibrow -- she mighta trimmed the fur around my ass but there's no removing the fudge stripe if I haven't wiped my ass on the floor, right? So to get revenge for the spring cleaning of the fur, I slapped my tail over her forehead so that she not only awakened to a freshly evacuated ass, but I put my stamp of love on her head and it looked like her eyebrows were joined. Tee hee. It wasn't so much a unibrow as a pooh-nani brow!

Anywho, I expect to be showered with catnip and treats and a feast fit for a queen-sized cat. Lord knows it's too much to expect a fresh litterbox in honor of my special day, but a coupla hits of organic herb can sure do wonders to make me forget the throbbing of my rugburned ass. ...